放下屠刀

几个礼拜之前，电脑中病毒了，然后我很愚昧地使用了一键还原。结果一切都没有了，不只是系统，硬盘上的全部资料都抹掉了。照片，文章，收集的资料……总的来说，就是过去的生活轨迹被抹掉了，没有东西能证明你在这个世上活过一样。难得的是，我居然很镇静。这么多年来，一直在对自己的性格作修正，现在遇到了这样的灾难，居然也能平静应对了。

What is Social Phobia?

A woman hates to stand in line in the grocery store because she's afraid that everyone is watching her. She knows that it's not really true, but she can't shake the feeling. While she is shopping, she is conscious of the fact that people might be staring at her from the big mirrors on the inside front of the ceiling. Now, she has to talk to the person who's checking out her groceries. She tries to smile, but her voice comes out weakly. She's sure she's making a fool of herself. Her self-consciousness and anxiety rise to the roof...

Another person sits in front of the telephone and agonizes because she's afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call. She's even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the electric bill because she's afraid she'll be "putting someone out" and they will be upset with her. It's very hard for her to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn't know. She's especially afraid to call people she does know because she feels that she'll be calling at the wrong time -- the other person will be busy -- and they won't want to talk with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call. Once the call is made and over, she sits, analyzes, and ruminates about what was said, what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other person....her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her that she "goofed" this conversation up, too, just like she always does. Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.

A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he's self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person will know he's frightened. More than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.

A man hates to go to work because a meeting is scheduled the next day. He knows that these meetings always involve co-workers talking with each other about their current projects. Just the thought of speaking in front of co-workers raises his anxiety. Sometimes he can't sleep the night before because of the anticipatory anxiety that builds up. Finally, the meeting is over. A big wave of relief spills over him as he begins to relax. But the memory of the meeting is still uppermost in his mind. He is convinced he made a fool of himself and that everyone in the room saw how afraid he was when he spoke, and how stupid he acted in their presence. At next week's meeting, the boss is going to be there. Even though this meeting is seven days away, his stomach turns raw with anxiety and fear floods over him again. He knows that in front of the boss he'll stammer, hesitate, his face will turn red, he won't remember what to say, and everyone will witness his embarrassment and humiliation. He has seven miserable days of anxiety ahead of him -- to think about it, ruminate over it, worry about it, over-exaggerate it in his mind.......again and again and again.....

A student won't attend her university classes on the first day because she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won't be able to think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she will leave out important details. Her voice might even quiver and she will sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear---so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having to introduce herself in class.

Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years.

In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is watching, staring, and judging them (even though rationally they know this isn't true). The socially anxious person can't relax, "take it easy", and enjoy themselves in public. In fact, they can never fully relax when other people are around. It always feels like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or "judging" them in some way. The person with social anxiety knows that people don't do this openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and judgment while they are in the other person's presence. It's sometimes impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the anxiety and fear. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it's much easier just to stay away from social situations and avoid other people altogether.

Many times people with social anxiety simply must be alone---closeted---with the door closed behind them. Even when they're around familiar people, a person with social anxiety may feel overwhelmed and have the feeling that others are noticing their every movement and critiquing their every thought. They feel like they are being observed critically and that other people are making negative judgments about them.

One of the worst circumstances, though, is meeting people who are "authority figures". Especially people such as bosses and supervisors at work, but including almost anyone who is seen as being "better" than they are in some respect. People with social anxiety may get a lump in their throat and their facial muscles may freeze up when they meet this person. The anxiety level is very high and they're so focused on "not failing" and "giving themselves away" that they don't even remember what was said in the conversation. But later on, they're sure they must have said the wrong thing.....because they always do.

How is it ever possible to feel "comfortable" or "natural" under these circumstances?

To the person with social anxiety, going to a job interview is pure torture: you know your excessive anxiety will give you away. You'll look funny, you'll be hesitant, maybe you'll even blush, and you won't be able to find the right words to answer the questions coherently. Maybe this is the worst part of all: You know that you are going to say the wrong thing. You just know it. It is especially frustrating because you know you could do the job well if you could just get past this terrifying and intimidating interview.

本文转自http://www.socialphobia.org/

一点也不奇怪，以上症状我都有，程度轻重不同，所以我属于这个范畴。你呢？

接轨？还是接鬼？

说了这么多年“接轨”，到头来，不过是“接鬼”。

这个念头困扰我很久，终于在学到第三门(也将是最后一门)外语的时候，下决心睁开眼看世界了。

记得某天上课，我打开校内，然后旁边的同学问我这是什么，跟facebook很像来着。我只好解释说这是“中国的facebook”。然后他说“C’est pas international”。精辟。我等一句等了好久。当我们还天真地以为“民族的就是世界的”，残酷的事实告诉我们，《功夫熊猫》这样的电影只能由好莱坞出品。即便这样，有人还拿这个说事，沾沾自喜。

如果美国人说，“民族的就是世界的”，他们是有理由的。或许从国家的名字就注定了这一切，United States 和United Nations几乎没有差别。他们的产品，文化……无不影响着世界。反过来说，世界正在使用美国输出的一切。

但是这一切在中国行不通。

Ebay风行全世界，可Ebay中国被淘宝击败，彻底退出C-to-C平台。

Yahoo buzz是新闻聚合网站的代表，可yahoo风向标在中国行不通。

这样的例子太多了。唯一让我不解的是，为什么好端端的东西，一定要有一个“中国特色”的“中国版本”。好像不这样，不足以彰显爱国之心似的。

世界有Facebook，中国有校内；

世界有Google，中国有百度；

世界有Youtube，中国有youku；

世界有Flickr，中国有网易相册；

世界有Wikipedia，中国有百度百科；

世界有MSN，中国有QQ；

世界有Firefox，中国有傲游；

世界有Ebay，中国有淘宝；

世界有Amazon，中国有卓越网(已被并购)；

世界有IMDB，中国有Mtime时光网；

世界有Craigslist，中国有口碑网；

世界有的，中国都有，而且是贴上中国标签的。世界没有的，中国也有，而且是山寨的。

最尴尬的是关于小日本的东西。

明明日语来自于汉语，现在日语的辨识度却更高。

明明书面日语我们能猜个大概，要谈论的时候，还真不如老外明白，因为他们是按发音来记的，而同一个字，在日语的发音是不同的。

你一定听过村上春樹 ，却不一定知道Aruki Murakami ；

你一定听过宮崎駿，却不一定知道Hayao Miyazaki ；

你一定听过武士，却不一定知道Samouraï。

汉语的桎梏

如果说有一句神秘的强大力量，一直顽强地阻止我们与世界接轨的话，他的名字叫“汉语”。一切的外来词，非得染上一层叫中国的颜色，才能生存下来。

你一定听过蓝精灵，却不一定知道Shtroumph；

你一定听过克鲁伊夫，却不一定知道Johan Cruyff；

你一定听过诺坎普球场，却不一定知道Camp Nou；

你一定听过大小仲马，却不一定知道Alexandre Dumas；

关于电影，小说，就更离谱了。你如果按照中文译名，回译成原语言，一定是行不通的。

比如《新娘百分百》，原名是”Notting Hill”;

比如《乱世佳人》，原名是”Gone with the wind”;

明星的名字也一样，硬生生找几个字类似的发音往上凑，这跟那种街头的《XX语速成》，用“3克油”标注”Thank you”的小册子，有什么不一样？

比如施瓦辛格，原名是Schwarzenegger;

再说说地名。

洛杉矶，Los Angeles, 天使的意思；

拉斯维加斯，Las Vegas, 肥沃的土地；

布宜诺斯艾利斯，Buenos Aires, 清新的空气。

不知道这些翻译过的地名，或者说汉字的堆积，看起来有意义吗？更甚者，有的地名按发音翻译，有的按原意翻译，真是随心所欲，让人无所适从啊。

再举一小例。你说“金边”，相信别人是听不懂的，应该是Phnom Penh，至少也得念成“扑no潘”才好交流，下面这一段资料应该解释的很清楚了。由此可见，现在的我们，既不懂“金边”的意思，又不知道“Phnom Penh”，真是两头不讨好啊。

柬埔寨首都金边（Phnom Penh）是全国最大的城市，有人口约110万（1998年）。

“金边”原为柬埔寨高棉语的“百囊奔”。“百囊”之意为“山”，“奔”是人的姓氏，“百囊”和“奔”合在一起，就是“奔夫人山”。据史书记载，公元１３７２年，柬埔寨发生大水灾。在柬埔寨首都河岸的一座山岗上，住着一位姓奔的夫人。一天清晨，她到河边提水时，发现滚滚的河中漂来一棵大树，树洞里露出金光闪闪的佛像。她立即叫来几个妇女，把树从河中打捞上来，发现树洞里有４尊铜像和１尊石佛像。奔夫人是虔诚的佛教徒，认为这是天赐之物，于是她和其他妇女便把佛像洗刷干净，隆重地将这些佛像迎回家中供奉起来。后来，她和邻居们在她房前堆起一座小山，并在山顶上修建了一座佛寺，将这５尊佛像供奉在里面。后人为纪念这位奔夫人，就将这座山命名为“百囊奔”，即奔夫人之山的意思。当时华侨称“金奔”。在广东话里，“奔”和“边”发音十分接近，久而久之，金奔在华语中演变成“金边”，一直沿用至今。

渺茫的希望

这些人为制造的混乱在法语和西语中不存在，因为人家只是按自己的发音念原来的英语或其他语的单词而已，在理解层面上并不存在偏差。

很多所谓成功的翻译，明明是想尽心思，最终修成正果，成为翻译的经典，却成了与世界阻隔的障碍，这又是何苦呢？

所以，我亲爱的所谓大师和语言专家，再也不要专门拨一批汉字来翻译外来人名地名了，并且为哪些字更合适而争论不休。因为这不是他们的本来面貌。我不由得产生一种怀疑：这一切，是不是为了培养爱国主义的社会主义陷阱？因为很多东西，我们一直天真地以为是中国的。很久以后，才发现事实不是这样。

我们从小就知道马克思是伟人，可是后来快20岁了，才知道“假A联赛”里也有个马克思。原来世界上是可以有2个以上的马克思的。一个普通的名字而已，大惊小怪。

就像热爱盗版一样，我们引用别人的作品从来不会注明出处的。从小就没这个习惯。再加上很多翻译家的精心翻译，连翻译腔都没有了。搞得后来才发现，很多伟大的作品，作家都是舶来品，跟中国完全不沾边的。

我的建议是：至少在翻译过的人名，地名及其他外来专有事情名称后面，用原文标注。否则，干脆不要翻译好了。

尽管说了这么多，与是否爱国无关，请有的无聊人士不要拿此说事，谢谢。 

 顾名思义，自己给自己理发。半年没理发了，夏天太热，理发太贵，再加上最近经历了一些事情，没有头绪，是时候了。第一次给自己理发，效果还不错。突然发现说，以前不管去哪里理发，出来都不满意。干脆以后都自己处理算了，还没有成本：一个刀片，一个镜子，足矣。反正我也不是要形象的人，索性破罐子破摔了。

 理发是很玄的事情，完事总有一种清爽的感觉，将阴霾一扫而空。不会像前一阵写这样的东西：

 我是宅男吗？我会爱上自己吗？我已经好长时间没出门了，每天拿一面小镜子，傻傻地看着自己。这个人如此的熟悉，却又想不起来是谁？你怎么了？为什么如此憔悴？你不快乐吗？你有心事吗？为什么不告诉你的家人，朋友呢？怎么，他们不值得信任？这么多年，你都找不到可以倾诉的对象吗？你会像Narcissus一样迷恋自己吗？你对自己的选择动摇了吗？你做好出发的准备了吗？你会坚持到底吗？你还会回来吗？什么时候才能找到那个理想的自己呢？

 PS：第一次尝试这样的写作方式，想用不断的设问来引出答案。最后的答案是：无解。

 此外，头发大概是除指甲以外，身体上可以随意处理的部分了。如果情绪不好，很少人选择剪指甲，怕控制不住，变成江姐了。而等指甲完全长好，则需要大半年时间。头发则不同，可以一剪到底，不痛不痒，内心却一阵痛快，恨不能大喊一声“爽”的。如果您老人家还有情绪要发泄，那就要看医生了，人类身上实在是没有类似的部分可以处理了。

 再顾名思义一下，自己修理自己。和理发一样，也是对自己的调整。

   三周前，在一个招聘会，认识了一个学汉语的法国小伙儿，中文名叫“麦西”，在南京做过交换生。汉语讲得快跟我一样了。现在，我还在找实习，他已经在巴黎工作了。差距啊，我回国顶多是“皮皮虾”，海龟都算不上。他一个“华归”，看来很是吃香啊。小伙有前途，加油。

 现在经济不景气，我亲爱的朋友们，祝你们一切顺利，身体健康。毕竟，工作不是生活的全部。 

 昨天听说XX父亲过世的消息，心头一酸，眼泪止不住地就流下来了。

 我们从小一起长大，一起学习，一起踢球，一起干坏事。。。虽然也闹过别扭，但儿时几乎所有的回忆都少不了你。

 虽然长大以后，不常在一起，但每一次相聚，都那么难忘。毫不拘谨，就像很久没有离开的家人。

 人生苦短，能有一个这样的朋友是上辈子修来的福气。

 这个时候，是你人生中最悲痛的时候，希望你坚强。

 你的父亲就是我的父亲。祝他一路走好。

 不知怎么，突然想起来，某年的一个春天，老爸带着我去空地放风筝。我们拿竹子和报纸自己扎风筝，还做了好长的一圈套一圈的那种尾巴，因为我一直迷信地认为那样风筝会飞得更高。

 风筝真得飞得好高，最后都快看不见了，手里的线也越来越少，才依依不舍地收线。不曾想收线远比放线困难，最后手都勒红了，没劲了，还在夕阳下苦苦坚持。。。足足收了一个小时。

 真的是老了，开始回忆童年往事了。

 看着小贝那张依然英俊，却不再年轻的脸，才意识到我们也24了。我们年少时一起追随的球星，很多都已经退役了。

 一直恨自己不能像其他孩子那样优秀，不让父母操心。这么多年来，用尽全力，却无济于事，一退再退。

 还记得高考前，你跟我说过：你那么认真学习，又考不上XX。

 是啊，生活中还有很多美好的东西值得珍惜。有时候不要太执着，跟爱你的人，你爱的人一起分享这美丽人生吧。